back from the dead.

maybe it's time to start keeping up with this again, not just for angst-ridden blogs, but just thoughts, memories, anything. the last time i wrote here i was obviously in a pretty dark place, which is now behind me, but tends to have a habit of catching up to me. for now, i'll enjoy the light. really, it is pretty hard not to hit the delete button on some of those old posts, but at the time they were conveying what i felt. 

anyway, love's on my mind tonight, just not in the way i usually view it. over the course of the past few months, along with i guess my whole experiences with dating, it's been altered pretty dramatically. yes, i've always been the girl who's said life should be lived for love. love is all you need. any and every cliche. but do you ever think how sad it is that we put so much effort into one person, so much sacrifice, fighting, heartache, love, and time when they're probably not the person we'll end up with in the end. we just chalk it all up as experience. when we're with that person, and absolutely in love we make plans and promises that we'll spend the rest of our days together, and it seems so very possible at that moment. but years, months, even weeks down the road, that person could just be another stranger we pass on the street. it's an absolutely terrifying concept; the frailty of human relationships. finding lasting love is like striking gold, incredibly rare, but possible. i've always lived with an open heart bursting with love, ready to give everything i have to make someone happy, but sadly, my hearts turned cold and i've grown detached. loneliness is irrelevant. i can live with it. living with heartache? now that i cannot do.