on my mind.

i thought we could work this out, but the effort isn't there.

maybe we're better off as strangers.

let's go back to the beginning and forget we ever met.

xo.

i'm no longer blinded.

this is who you really are.

the "old" you is never coming back.

so neither am i.

...

it's getting easier to breathe.

i think the fact i'm so sick now, was a blessing in disguise.

as terrible as being sick is, it's better than being sick over someone. 

good thing i didn't get that vaccine, right? 

jokes on me again, don't worry i laughed about it this time.

having feelings for someone is a cycle.

i'm slowly moving from caring very much for you to beginning to get over you.

just thinking, no knowing, we're better separate than together.

and realizing you were probably right when you said our end was inevitable anyway.

i won't lie though, there's still moments of weakness and choked back tears.

and ones that get away too quickly.

i wonder if you think about this at all, or if you're just happy to put it behind you. 

if i was you, i'd probably go with the latter.

hope you figure yourself out or you're gonna die alone.

.

it's all over now.

misery hates company.

i have the best friends in the world.

but when they try to make me better, i push them as far away as i can because i get off on being down. apparently. 

if you're reading this, and you know who you are, please never give up on me.

i'm disgustingly difficult and stubborn, and i'm crying as i type this thinking of all the wasted effort you've put into helping me, but i promise i'll let you in. 

as for you, the person these last few entries have been about, i'm not sure what to say..think..do.

i think we've come to the end, before we really ever began.

and the part that makes me the most sad is i thought it would be so different with you.

i had the highest hopes for us. 

and maybe that's what the problem was.

unrealistic expectations.

from now on, expect nothing out of anyone..they'll only disappoint.

high hopes lead to heartbreak.

"you may feel alone when you're falling asleep,

and every time tears roll down your cheeks.

but i know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet,

someday you will be loved."