a [closed] letter.

how did this happen? 

i'm the girl that builds walls so strong, no one even bothers at attempting to tear them down.

and you made them fall to pieces without even trying.

i guess it's ironic i used to laugh about using you and that us, together, was a joke.

who's laughing now?

the most frustrating feeling is, knowing that before you wanted nothing more but to spend time together, and now seeing you is nearly impossible.

seems like i'm losing you and there's nothing i can do about it. 

so all i can do is what i do best, push you away. 

in the end, i guess i'm the selfish one. preserving my own heart comes first. 

by the time you realize i was what you wanted, it'll be too late. 

because i'm pulling farther away as each minute passes of this uncertainty.

maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't; but while you may have problems expressing your feelings, i'll just write mine down for you.

i'm just as scared, if not more so, than you. 

i have things at stake that you can't even begin to understand.

every relationship is full of uncertainty, if they were certain to last, there would really be no use in them.

maybe the risk of heartbreak is too much for some, and that honestly makes me sad. you could pass the love of your life right by and end up settling for someone or living life alone. 

i think every second is worth it, and true, things could go badly, but that's life. you can choose fear or you can choose love, and i choose love. 

so, be mine, or let me go, love. 

xo.